i was advised to engage with the guy/manager i really hated. as in talk to him every day, ask and see what he likes. you know, make him feel like he's important to me. once he's in his comfort zone, things may change. it doesn't really mean you'll like him, but it'll get him off your back.
I was also given two other valuable pieces of advice.
1. try asking the 5 whys [1]. for those that don't know it's basically a simple technique to find out why people do the things they do. it doesn't have to be a good reason, but most of the times it's not a malicious reason why people do things. sometimes though it's malicious. you should be wary of those people.
2. don't marry your job. there's no point getting emotional about things you don't own. in the end you own the things you do in your free time and what you get paid for is your job. so if someone does an incredibly stupid decision, it's their problem.
in practice though, i have problems not getting emotional when people are trying to do incredibly stupid decisions.
>don't marry your job. there's no point getting emotional about things you don't own.
I need to learn this advice.
> if someone does an incredibly stupid decision, it's their problem.
Where I struggle is when someone make a very stupid decision, and part of that decision is making it my problem. They just keep lumping more and more responsibilities my way. It's at the point where I'm coming in from 1am-5am most weeks, I get called late on Sunday nights, etc. etc. I'm a salaried employee and not paid for that.
> in practice though, i have problems not getting emotional when people are trying to do incredibly stupid decisions.
Me too, and I still don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. If I stopped caring, I'd be useless. I think I need to find the middle ground.
subject to the terms of your employment agreement and applicable state and federal law.
If any employer tries to assert ownership of a non-work-related side project...
1. It would not be hard to challenge that in court. For example, the employer does
not own personal communications. They cannot read your private email, much less
assert copyright over it.
2. The very fact should be outed here, on Slashdot, on Lobsters, and on Valleywag.
It will ruin that company's reputation, and that ruin will be deserved.
Looks like 3-year-old me was on to something when I was bugging my parents about how absolutely everything worked.
That said, while this seems like an excellent tool for something like car diagnostics, as described in the wikipedia article, I'd be more hesitant to try it with a person and their motivations unless it was someone I was incredibly close with. I'd especially feel weird doing it with a direct superior. It seems like in most circumstances it would be difficult to word a line of questioning like this in a way that didn't seem like criticizing their judgement.
Likewise.
I've found that when applying it to people and relationships, simply asking 'why why why why why?' rarely makes it past the first two 'why's before it gets annoying and someone becomes combative. However, when I length any given 'why' to something involving acknowledgement ... 'Ah, so the battery is dead - why is the battery dead?' and vary the verbiage ... 'What happened to the alternator?', then individuals (including supervisors and others) often respond more positively.
I was also given two other valuable pieces of advice.
1. try asking the 5 whys [1]. for those that don't know it's basically a simple technique to find out why people do the things they do. it doesn't have to be a good reason, but most of the times it's not a malicious reason why people do things. sometimes though it's malicious. you should be wary of those people.
2. don't marry your job. there's no point getting emotional about things you don't own. in the end you own the things you do in your free time and what you get paid for is your job. so if someone does an incredibly stupid decision, it's their problem.
in practice though, i have problems not getting emotional when people are trying to do incredibly stupid decisions.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5_Whys
edit: added google cache link http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:pyskool...