If a programmer is struggling with SQL in the way you describe, I'd suggest they learn how to perform MapReduce in the programming language of their choice. That should help give them a better understanding of how to approach SQL. If their language doesn't have good support for the MapReduce approach, a quick introduction in any functional language should help.
The MapReduce advice was only meant for programmers who had to unlearn imperative programming habits. Non-programmers won't have imperative programming habits to unlearn.
